Friday, February 15, 2008

Catching up

So I'm watching some online lectures for Japanese history this morning, and the professor is explaining power politics in the imperial court about 1500 years ago, and the emperor had a bunch of consorts. The consorts lived in separate residences, with their own families, and when the emperor was, um, up for it, according to the professor, "he'd run over and knock on the door and say, hey you want to write some poetry and maybe chill out for a while?"

Laughing my head off.

I have a bunch of time this weekend, owing to plans getting scratched, which I'm still annoyed about, but will wander over to Handel & Haydn Society for the Mozart Requiem at some point and hopefully get caught up with reading for Japanese history and my other coursework. I haven't yet exchanged my flex-pass things for actual tickets yet, so if anybody's up for joining me, I have a seat for you - just let me know.

We had grief group for our last time last night. Yes, grief group on Valentine's Day. Well, yeah, it sounds like the most colossal bummer ever, but there you go. Youngest child thought he was ready to move on, which was our gating factor, really (the girls and I have been in a place where we're ready to move on for quite some while now). So we discussed it over the last couple of weeks, and discussed it some more, and then some more, and told the folks at the center, and said our goodbyes complete with ritual.

And then just after going to bed last night, youngest was in tears about it and is not sure he really *was* ready to stop going. OUCH. I told him that sometimes, decisions are like that: you go back and forth, and then make a choice, and then things look different and no matter what your choice is, you immediately think oh the other one would have been better. We will sit with it for a while and then see what's up.

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.

Guy-ness is sort of weird at the moment, mostly because it's confusing. Cute, but also not sure precisely what the hell is going on (yeah, what else is new, when do I *ever* know what the hell is going on). It's helpful to remind myself that I am in fact fabulous beyond all reason.

Glad y'all had nice VD-day-ness (and hi, abby!!) - Mel, the chocolate sounds like the perfect way to go - you guys rock. Lucia, chocolate is nice but y'know, you got Mr. Fucshia there, too, so on the whole I'd say you win. Though I still maintain that it is really all about me.

Now back to the suddenly hilarious Japanese history lecture, the wrestling with the utility companies, and getting on with my oh so fabulous life. Take care, all.


Blogger Lucia said...

Poor kid. I know those conflicted moments. (All too well.) Give him a hug for me.

Yes, he is pretty cool. Thanks for noticing.

10:14 PM  

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