Tuesday, August 29, 2006

How to Make A Weasel Hiss


In order to make the truly crazed variety of weasel hiss, with teeth bared, simply convince her to calculate armhole shaping before the requisite daily amount of coffee has been ingested. She will knit merrily, pausing only after several inches go by, before realizing that she has used the wrong figure in her calculations and that she must now both re-do the math and rip out several inches of knitting. Sit back and listen! Nature hath few marvels to equal the attack hiss of the full dudgeon weasel.

Crap. Crap, crap, crap. Jessie, I will gaze longingly at representations of knitting in flames (hey, now, *there's* a catchphrase: knitting in flames! sounds a bit like snakes on a plane, doesn't it?)(seriously, go look) (thanks, JF!). I put loops back on as best I could and got on with it. If I thought knitting with this stuff was unpleasant before, I knew not whereof I spoke. Frogged, this yarn achieves a level of annoyance to which mere normal fiber can only aspire, in vain. Those tufty bits get even hairier. Oh, yes.

We hates it, precioussss, we do.

I'll bring it to Javaroom. So you can see it in its glory/pestilence, Jena and Lynne and Not Tattoo Queen Because She's Already at Burning Man. And have a FABU time, you. And whoever else makes it; maybe even Julie?

A more cheering note:
We received our official approval letter for the new homeschooling year today. There's still the boilerplate stuff in there about how the district policy says you gotta do 900 hours of instruction; um, the policy, er, says no such thing, and uh, furthermore, the applicable case law tosses out this requirement as having no logic for a non-institutional school environment. If I get around to it, I'll send it over to HSLDA and see if they can send a friendly WTF letter. But otherwise, we're completely copacetic. Cha cha cha. (Oh! Some cartoon last night really late had Yma Sumac as background music! It was awesome!)

Also in today's mail was Knitting magazine. One of the UK ones. It's hit or miss, but this month has a project to make any weasel seethe with pleasure:

Isn't the potential for use of (shudder) eyelash yarn just screaming to you? Or maybe it's just me. Sorry about the unspeakably bad blur, again; must be proximity to the Nightmare In Progress (NIP). Or maybe it's just me, seething.

And I found this bit of coolness over the weekend:

This is like knitting only with electronics. And whatever else you have lying around. How to splice wires together to make your ipod video clips play on your tv! How to extract dna! It is SO DAMN COOL! I'm probably the last geek on the planet to have heard of it, which is what usually happens, but damn, this is some fun, Bambi. (Thumper and Bambi on the ice. Bambi totally wipes out and falls on his stomach. Thumper: "Some fun, huh, Bambi?" Bambi: wan nod, weak smile.)

I'm starting to free associate. Better go finish my beer.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Rosanna said...

My husband has issue 1 of that magazine on our coffeetable. He pulls it out occasionally and moons over the article that shows how you, too, can do aerial photography... with kites!

9:32 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

Some other blogger mentioned that Make is coming out with a crafty mag. Sounds right up my alley. I used to extract DNA for a living :) but the most fun was the lab class I had where we spooled it out on glass rods. Haven't seen the article, maybe that's in there. Geek? I drink my cocoa every morning from a coffee cup plastered with the genetic code and a double helix illustration. I once got paid to build a model of the helix.

Not sure if I'll make it tonight, it's the dreaded first day of school today and we still have the college student at home for a few more days. Car is being shared and other such craziness abounds.

6:56 AM  
Blogger Lucia said...

I've never seen that magazine. I'll bet Grant and Miss B would love it. (She's baa-ack! I was picking her up at the airport yesterday afternoon/evening and thus unavailable for knitting adventures.)

Sorry about the frogging and all that. Beer should help.

7:34 AM  
Anonymous Jessica said...

before realizing that she has used the wrong figure in her calculations and that she must now both re-do the math and rip out several inches of knitting.

I've done that. It usually involves at LEAST five minutes of stomping around and growling at whatever's handy. Why is it that yarn that drives us INSANE is the yarn that we end up having to rip and reknit for MILES?

My condolences.

Cool magazine.

8:41 PM  

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