Sometimes it's not so complicated
My neurobiology class starts in a week (!), so I thought I'd better start on the reading for week one, just in case it takes me a long time to process information. 'Cause, you know, that's been known to happen.
Good thing I started. We've got Ch. 2 and Ch. 7, and this is basically all of neuroanatomy plus beginning the chemistry of transmitters. I do know a little of this already, but not in a systematic way. I find I need to re-read things to absorb them.
Not everything, though: "Another simple way to classify neurons is according to whether their dendrites have spines. Those that do are called..." wait for it...."spiny."--Bear et al., "Neuroscience: Exploring the Brain." Yes, you, too now know some technical neuroscience terminology.
On the grief front, I remember my husband's physical presence very acutely. I am not transposing the feelings; my mind seems to be okay with allowing directness, for which I'm grateful. Nothing complicated; no avoidance because it'll hurt too much; just simple (though intense) recall.
Those of you who have been through labor might remember the shock of really knowing what it means for your own body to pull itself apart from the inside to make an opening ten centimeters across, through which you will push out your child. It hurts, of course. Duh. Ten centimeters is a pretty big diameter. Bigger than my wrist, certainly. At the same time, it can not hurt any more than it does at that point, and there is a relief in knowing that. That's sort of where I am today: I know it won't hurt more than the absolutely it already has, and that frees me in a way. Simple perception, possible at last.