Learning to breathe. Again.
I have for a few weeks, now, been taking time to breathe. Finally. I had a regular spiritual practice at other times in my life, and have been doing some daily meditation. I'm grateful to have found material to work with that feels true to me (here, if you're interested). It makes sense to me to be aware of, and consciously try to work with, my own energy, and what's not to love about pagan earth-based spiritual traditions? The turning of the wheel of the year is palpable sometimes, and I like acknowledging that: hello, to the sun and the water and the earth and the wind, and here we all are. Breathing is important. Sitting quietly now and then is important.
It has been a long while (again!) since I last posted. In that time, I thoroughly crashed academically and notice(d) that the PhD program was a struggle that was breaking me; I withdrew from it a few months ago. So much of my attention went into the whole idea of doing a PhD that it's taking me a while to figure out "what next"; I am fortunate in that I don't have to know the answer to that immediately. I do still find molecular structure to be fascinating and beautiful; we shall see what arises from this particular iteration of phoenix-hood, I suppose.
I continue to be thankful for the people in my life, past and present. Today would be my wedding anniversary had S lived. I am grateful for the whole journey, including finding love again (to echo the assured prediction of a friend from some while back). There is so much I have gained in strength from the generosity of other people. I can still feel; I am not broken; and that feels like a gift.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.